In 2009, Keri Hilson faced backlash over shady lyrics in her “Turnin’ Me On” remix she didn’t write. Now, songwriter Ester Dean is owning up to the message and impact.
After 15 years, Keri Hilson is stepping back into the spotlight to address the infamous drama over Beyoncé that changed her professional path forever.
In 2009, during the height of her musical career, Hilson released the remix to her hit song “Turning Me On,” which quickly garnered buzz after the singer appeared to make shady comments about Beyoncé.
During a recent appearance on “The Breakfast Club,” Hilson revealed the backstory behind the lyrics that some speculate got her blackballed in the industry.
“It’s a regret. But not in the way people think,” she told the radio hosts. “That’s a song I actually didn’t write. Those are not my words. I was on tour, [and] Polow [Da Don] wanted me to do a remix to ‘Turnin’ Me On.’ He produced the record. Because I was on tour with Lil Wayne, I wasn’t able to lay anything down. He had been on me for a couple of weeks, [saying] we need to do a remix.”
She goes on to explain how the producer invited another unnamed writer to write the song.
“He played it for me. Meanwhile I’m thinking I was coming in to write a remix to ‘Turnin’ Me On.’ Automatically, I was like, ‘I’m not saying that.’ That was my position. I’m an athlete. I am competitive. But I’m not nasty, I’m a finesse player. I don’t look at things like that,” she explained. “My album wasn’t out yet, I was told it’s not coming out if you don’t do this. I was super young. I felt I had no choice […] I’m still protecting everyone involved. I’ve been eating that for years.”
Shortly after the interview clip was posted on Instagram, the unnamed “Turnin’ Me On (Remix)” writer Ester Dean revealed herself in the post’s comments, responding, ” And did! It was a hit!” to a user who speculated that she was the writer behind the diss:
“Your vision cloudy if you think that you’re the best. You can dance, she can sing. But she need to move it to the left, left. She need to go have some babies. She needs to sit down, she fake,” Hilson raps in her verse. “I ain’t turning it off, I’m stay turning it on. Go ‘head and tell these folks how long I’ve been writing your songs. I’ve been putting you on, just check the credits, h*e”
While Dean was proud of the song’s success, she later took to her personal Instagram account to apologize for the lyrics and its impact on Hilson’s career.
“I submitted a lot of verses for that remix –– one got picked, and it was co-written with Keri. Looking back, it was childish and didn’t age well. I see how it hurt people, especially women and I take full accountability,” the songwriter wrote. “I’m sorry for my part in it. Growth is real, and so is this apology.”
Hilson has met Beyoncé in person since the entire drama unfolded, saying the superstar introduced herself and was extremely gracious. “”I appreciated it. I feel like she understood what happened, what had transpired and there was a bit of healing in that moment when we met. I take her as a very intuitive kind of soul, as am I.”
Hilson’s healing has made way for a new life chapter and she’s releasing an album on April 18 called, “We Need To Talk.”
Nevertheless, today, Hilson wishes her younger self trusted her gut and fought harder against recording the verse.
“I’ve forgiven myself,” she concluded. “But I’ll never forget what that moment cost me.”
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