OPINION: Years ago, one of my kids was promised a dog for his 10th birthday. It’s nearing the time to pay the piper.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
At my core, I’m an animal lover. I even like cats, which I’ve come to find out gets really close to being a controversial statement. Over the course of my life — at my mother’s house in Michigan — I’ve had cats and dogs. Shoot, depending on the perspective, I might have owned some geese, though I would imagine those geese looked at it the other way around. They were a surly bunch, those geese.
However, despite being an animal lover and having had a varied assortment of pets, I do not actually want a pet at this point in my life.
This lack of want flies directly in the face of the hopes, dreams and desires of my children, all of whom want a dog. And because parents like to say things they don’t mean in hopes that a child will forget, in March 2025, my home will welcome an additional resident: a dog.
I do not want a dog. I understand why lots of people have them. Shoot, it’s Christmas time in African America (all of America, really) and what better gift is there in a family that wants one than a dog? I love dogs. It seems like most people do. But me, myself and I? We like to love from a distance. I prefer to see a dog across the street and say, “Look at that cute dog!” But alas, my ministry and life will be changing soon.
I’ll bet you’re wondering how or why I got here. I can hear you right now: “If you don’t want a dog, don’t get a dog!” Yeah, okay.
Let me start at the beginning. My first son was born in March of 2015. In March 0f 2021, he told his mother, my lovely wife, that he wanted a dog. She rightfully told him that he was too young for a dog. But his mother, my lovely wife, then did that thing that parents do once we see a tear welling up in a child’s eye — she told him that he might be too young now, but when he’s 10, he can get a dog.
Now, let’s take a moment to reflect on the optimism and excitement that lives inside of children. My kids will do almost anything for ice cream. They’ll clean up, they’ll do their homework, they’ll fold their clothes, etc. What they won’t ever do is forget that you told them that if they do something, they can have that ice cream. They believe in the dream you sold them and they’re happy about it and looking forward to it. Kids never stop looking forward to things. That excitement has been driving my son’s patience for almost FOUR years now.
My son — my sweet, brilliant, athlete of a son — has become an expert in dogs. In fact, he has spent the better part of the last four years researching dogs. He can tell you an assortment of random facts about several breeds of dogs. That four years of research has made it quite difficult for him; he cannot decide what kind of dog he wants and he’s been mulling over that question for YEARS. He wants a guard dog breed but he also wants a dog that isn’t too big and that will be easy to play with and yadda-yadda-yadda. And let me tell you about the heart of this kid. In the beginning weeks of his 2nd-grade year of school (he’s now in 4th grade) he was bitten in the face by a dog AT school. A dog he had petted before, that he was petting then, lunged at him and bit him on his right cheek. Honestly, it was the first time my helplessness as a parent brought me to tears. The fact that I couldn’t protect him from that dog did a number on me.
Point is, even being bitten in the face by a dog hasn’t deterred his excitement and anticipation for this dog that is absolutely coming in a few months.
I do not want a dog, but really, it’s not even about the dog. You see, I know how much work goes into the love, care and maintenance of a pet. I remember, as a kid, having to get up and walk the dog early in the morning — and I hated it. Or at night. Or any time, really. I remember washing the dog and having to make sure to feed the dog; I remember the time the dog jerked away from me and I lost control of the leash, and the hour I spent feeling helpless trying to get my dog to come back (which he eventually did).
I know I don’t want to do any of that again.
I also know my household personnel, and despite everybody in this house telling me that they will walk the dog in the morning or at night and will feed and take care of and house-break and blah blah blah, my experience with my family has taught me that the most likely outcome is that I will do the lion’s share of taking care of this dog. I’m already exhausted taking care of all of my children and now I have to add a dog to that mix? I’m dreading this new phase of my life that involves walks in the rain or snow, etc. because I can already see the future.
I would love to be wrong, but I also know that nobody in this house can seem to get clothes in a hamper. All of a sudden, everybody is about to be up and ready to do more than pet a dog? Again, I know my household personnel. Be that as it may, I know that soon and very soon, my home will have some cute little dog that will sense my resistance and follow me around everywhere and will become my newest broke bestie and I’ll be like, “Oh fine, I’LL TAKE THE DOG OUT FOR A WALK.” At first, all the kids will come but soon, fewer and fewer children (or my spouse) will come for the daily walks and then it will be me and this dog that I do not want, traversing the landscapes of the southeastern quadrant of the District of Columbia. I will probably be fine — but also annoyed that exactly what I knew would happen has happened. Every day. Le sigh.
I am getting a dog.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest) but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Unknown” (Blackest).
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