As the holiday season approaches, this time of year is usually associated with joy and togetherness, while many grapple with feelings of loneliness and sadness. This period, when the world seems to slow down and retreat into hibernation, can louden feelings of isolation, especially for those distanced from family or dealing with some form of separation, breakup or loss. After being through the gamut in the grief department, I’ve learned there are loads of ways that people can manage periods of emotional darkness or trauma. Check out a few ways you can step up for yourself and lift yourself out of the gloom this season.
Loss and Breakups are Normal: and right now, the healthiest thing you can do is remember that.
Knowing you are not alone can help you come to grips with this grim truth. This would be the perfect time to tap into your village or anything that makes you smile. Call your friends, cousins, or anyone close and set up some time to catch up and talk about the positive things happening. Obviously, a therapist would be an even greater start to this process and help you understand how you are dealing with your situation. In addition to therapy, I personally leaned deeper into comedy. After realizing so many people around me had no idea how to console me or simply how to be in my presence as I was going through losses, I stepped away from my routine drama and willed a smile to my face. Thank you, Dave Chappelle!
Prioritize Your Paper: fill up those pages and write down how you feel.
OK, you’ve got a highly recommended therapist on hand and incorporated some positive reinforcement into your routine, but now what? After losing both of my parents, this time of year would hit like a bag of bricks. My mom observed Christmas; my Muslim father did not but kept us wrapped in family. Thinking about how some gatherings came to a halt after losing them, I reflected in my journal on how I felt and the times we shared as a collective. After reading over how I felt, I was motivated to recreate the love I grew up shrouded in. I realized I craved my loved ones, so I initiated my own gatherings and made the most of them. Those gatherings reminded me how precious moments spent together are. So, please take a moment to write it down and take a note from your notes. The picture will become clearer for you, and you’ll be motivated to do something loving the more you practice.
Making ‘SELF’ Essential: Do not isolate yourself. I repeat, DO NOT isolate yourself.
This is a dangerous one. When we are left alone with our own thoughts and feelings this time of year, holding a bag full of hurt, anxiety and depression can spike through the roof. It’s best to tap into the community (whatever non-toxic individuals that may consist of) and surround yourself with love and positivity. Pushing through and showing up may be challenging while healing, but stepping out of our comfort zone can lead to more confidence and resilience.
Give it Some Time: There is no such thing as ‘intsa-human’.
Allow yourself time to FEEL the pain, hurt, loss, guilt etc. We are human beings, and these feelings, unfortunately, are a part of the package. With that, life goes on, and before you know it, you’ll go from grief to golden…or closer to it. Sure, heaviness may be there, or you may be triggered by something unexpected, but remembering that the moment will pass will allow you to remember these things are fleeting. So, feel it, but don’t stay there.
Step Outside of YOU: Everyone is going through something.
Engaging in community activities can be a powerful antidote to loneliness and loss. Volunteering at local food banks, participating in toy donations, and joining clubs or groups with shared interests can foster a sense of belonging and purpose. These activities help distract from negative emotions while creating opportunities to meet new people and form meaningful connections. They also push you out of your own world to help you realize that you are not the only person facing some form of adversity.
Self-Lovin’: Love on every piece of you from the inside out!
Practicing physical self-care is vital during this time. This could mean diving into a new hobby, taking long walks, going to the gym or simply making sure you get enough rest. Prioritizing your well-being can help maintain emotional balance and perseverance. My favorite thing to do that always relaxes me is nighttime facial massages. I’m obsessed with skin, and attempting to massage any other part of my body leaves me in some strange pretzel position. I digress. Either way, do you, if you like it, I love it!
Be it a walk, journal entry, connecting with family or going to sleep early, it really is an all-hands-on-deck situation to push through tough emotional times. The most important thing to understand is that getting you through this period and how you do so is top priority. So, remember that the sting of whatever you may be facing will not last and can get a little easier each time you tap into yourself
