Imagine the perfect night—candles flickering, a playlist that sets the mood and the air thick with anticipation of an evening usually reserved for the pages of a romance novel. Every touch feels electric, every glance loaded with desire, and the tension between you and your partner is as palpable as the heat in the room. Yet when the night winds down, after the sheets are tangled and your fresh press has come out… only one of you walks away fully satisfied. The other left wanting more.
This common scenario highlights the orgasm gap—a term that refers to the disparity in sexual satisfaction, especially the difference in orgasm frequency between men and women.
However, the orgasm gap isn’t just about gender—it’s also shaped by race, culture and societal norms. Studies show disparities in orgasm frequency among different racial and ethnic groups, influenced by factors like body image, cultural expectations and differing sexual practices. Understanding these nuances helps us push forward on broader conversations around pleasure, intimacy and the barriers that still exist in achieving sexual equity and liberation.
Comprehensive sex education and open conversations about pleasure are essential for sexual confidence and well-being. Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, a psychologist and Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, highlights the impact of Black women sex educators like Dr. Shamyra Howard, Goody Howard, Dr. Tanya Bass, Dr. Shemeka Thorpe and Dr. Nikki Knows. Their work empowers and informs, proving that representation in sexual health fosters confidence, knowledge and freedom.
“My book, Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation, draws from a lot of them to inspire us to let go of the unseasoned sexual menus we’ve been force fed and have the type of sex that is good to and good for everyone involved,” Dr. Hargons said. “We are all worthy of pleasurable and orgasmic sex, and racism gets in the way. My research shows a clear link between the discrimination Black women face and their sexual experiences.”
Dr. Hargons emphasizes that racial stereotypes and systemic racism shape Black women’s sexual experiences in profound ways. When they face fewer instances of sexual objectification or the “strong Black woman” trope, they report lower anxiety around sex and greater willingness to engage in it. Research underscores how racial biases influence pleasure, from the fetishization of Black and Asian women to societal expectations of Black male sexuality, ultimately impacting all races’ sexual satisfaction and well-being.
“Those who experience more frequent everyday discrimination report lower rates of orgasm,” Dr. Hargons said. “On the other hand, lower levels of discrimination are associated with greater sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Essentially, these findings suggest that the stress and trauma caused by gendered racism and daily discrimination can negatively impact Black women’s sexual health and well-being, (similarly) to how it affects other aspects of their health.”
Sexualized racism manifests in harmful stereotypes that have endured for centuries, shaping perceptions of Black women’s sexuality. From the Jezebel trope to the hyper sexualization of Black bodies dating back to the beginning of the colonial period, these narratives impact both societal attitudes and personal experiences in the bedroom. Dr. Hargons notes that these myths originated during enslavement when slave owners justified their exploitation by blaming Black women for their own victimization.
“They portrayed us as seducing them, rather than themselves as trafficking and assaulting us,” Dr. Hargons said. “They made these messages so convincing in the media and even in politics — the laws didn’t protect us, and people in our communities started to believe it too.”
Despite the historical and cultural barriers to sexual liberation, research suggests that Black women may experience a smaller orgasm gap than their white counterparts. Studies indicate that Black women often have a more positive body image and a healthier view of their sexuality, which can contribute to greater sexual satisfaction. Embracing open discussions about pleasure and self-exploration is key to further closing this gap.
“It’s important for Black women to share stories about how good masturbation is to them and how it has helped them in their sex life and overall to destigmatize it,” Dr. Hargons said. “Some of us are beginning to do that. Hosting community conversations, going to where the people already are and making sure we prioritize our holistic sexual wellbeing … are the next steps.”
Masturbation is a common and natural part of Black women’s sexual experiences—Dr. Shemeka Thorpe and Dr. Hargons found that 97% of participants in their study engaged in it. Yet, many Black girls grew up hearing conflicting messages, from shame and sinfulness surrounding self-pleasure to empowerment and self-care. Dr. Hargons emphasizes that embracing self-pleasure reinforces worthiness, improving both sexual confidence and mental well-being regardless of relationship status. Shifting these narratives is essential in fostering a healthier, more affirming view of not only Black sexuality but sexuality overall.
“Sometimes we try to react to racialized stereotypes by proving we can be better than other groups, even if it isn’t in a way that works for us,” Dr. Hargons said. “If we can stop using other cultures as our aspirational comparison group and see all the good Black people are, that’s a good start.”
