The documentary Daughters, now streaming on Netflix, explores relationships between young Black girls and their fathers who are serving time. Tracing multiple years in these young women’s lives, filmmaker Natalie Rae and social change advocate Angela Patton highlight the Date With Dad program, created by participants of Girls For A Change. These daughters get to spend a precious day with their father at an incarnation facility, a usually impossible feat when the dad is behind bars.
“The moment when the girls connect with their fathers for that first hug in the hallway can be described as deeply emotional, powerful and transformative,” shares Patton. “It’s a cathartic experience, brimming with joy, relief, vulnerability, and healing. The hallway becomes a sacred space of reconciliation and renewal, where the weight of time and separation melts away, if only briefly. In that embrace, both father and daughter are enveloped in a profound sense of love, connection, and belonging, offering hope and a glimpse of the bond they’ve longed to rekindle.”
Adds Fatherhood Life Coach Chad Morris, “The Date With Dad program is an immersive series of experiences. The dance itself provides innate motivation for the fathers because of their want to have a special day with their daughters.”
A compelling portrait of the aspirations, dreams and the emotional toll of a father’s absence, the film sheds light on the complexities of familial bonds that strain under the weight of the unforgiving barriers of the criminal justice system and makes its case that the foundation of community healing lies within the family unit.
Here, Patton and Morris reflect on what you should know about these brave young women and their journeys.
How incarceration and separation affect Black men and their daughters
Chad Morris: “A lot of Black men who identify and embrace their roles as ‘daddy’ want to be their daughters’ heroes. The love they have, in action, shows up as encouragement, support, protection, teaching and guiding. Active and responsible fatherhood is challenging to maintain from behind prison walls. Incarceration can lead to a major disruption in the parental role due to forced separation from their children and families. There can be feelings of isolation, hopelessness and loss of control due to worrying about their children because they aren’t physically present and not able to show up and fix things. This can take a heavy psychological toll on these men as they go through a trial or deal with the consequences of a conviction. There are additional consequences as their voices and opinions as fathers sometimes go unheard. Their concepts of self can be challenged, and the part of them that identifies as ‘daddy’ can be repressed just to get through the time. These men learn that their children and families are the hidden victims who similarly suffer the consequences of their relationships being challenged by being on the other side of the bars. Feelings of guilt and despair can be debilitating.”
How the Date With Dad program works
Angela Patton: “Created by participants of Girls For A Change, Date With Dad is rooted in the mission of challenging stereotypes about Black men and fatherhood. This dual program, which cultivates events both inside the prison and within the community, is designed to create lasting bonds between fathers and daughters, regardless of their circumstances. By offering these parallel experiences, the participants in the Girl Action Team program emphasize that the father-daughter bond is crucial in shaping a young girl’s life. The program also underscores that this work extends beyond a single event to ensure that all fathers remain active and supportive figures in their daughters’ lives, whether incarcerated or not.
Through the imagination of these girls, we co-created a program that recognizes that the father-daughter connection is essential and shouldn’t be forgotten or diminished due to incarceration. The celebratory event serves as a powerful reminder that even when fathers are physically separated from their daughters, they still play a crucial role in their lives. For incarcerated fathers, this program provides a meaningful opportunity to reconnect with their daughters, reminding them that they are valued and needed. Meanwhile, for fathers outside of prison, the community event reinforces the importance of their continued presence and involvement in their daughters’ lives.
Moreover, the program emphasizes that the work does not end with the event. When fathers return home, the relationships they’ve built or strengthened during this time must continue to be nurtured. The girls participating in this program understand that creating these events isn’t just about one night; it’s about laying a foundation for lasting positive change. Fathers, whether incarcerated or not, must be supported in their efforts to remain active, loving, and guiding figures in their daughters’ lives.”
Morris: “A part of the program is the Fatherhood Circles. In the Circle, we meet for 10 weeks before the dance and for four weeks after to co-create a brave space to meet as men and fathers on a journey of personal exploration. [We go into] their individual value systems and life experiences as men, sons and fathers. We explore personal accountability and responsibility, navigating relationships, knowledge of childhood development and children’s needs, and the importance of how they show up as a dad.”
How it creates special father/daughter moments
Patton: “The Date With Dad program uplifts young girls by giving them agency and affirming their voices. It all began with the girls’ unstoppable imagination and a letter to the sheriff requesting their own dance—an idea they named and brought to life. This program allows them to take ownership of this special moment with their fathers, fostering hard but necessary conversations where fathers can hear their daughters’ voices and realize the impact of their choices. Through this process, the girls experience the power of their ideas and the importance of being heard, creating lasting emotional connections with their fathers.
The young ladies who have participated in the Date With Dad program are on a journey of discovery, with their lives still unfolding. While they may not fully understand what lies ahead, the program’s goal is to ensure they no longer feel invisible and instead become voices of change in their way. The film and the experience of the program are steps toward healing, helping them realize that their fathers’ choices do not define their identity or potential on their terms, like the dance.
By participating in the pre-session, the dance, and engaging in meaningful work with their fathers within an environment that is not typically available to them, these girls can strengthen their bonds and develop essential life skills. The power of the program and the special dance lies in its ability to support their growth and development, teaching them the importance of self-care, family unity, and decision-making. Through this unique experience, they learn that courage, communication, and the love of their fathers can transform their lives and guide them toward a brighter future.”
How it changes daughters’ lives
Patton: “Young ladies who have participated in the Date With Dad program are on a journey of self-discovery, with their lives still unfolding. While they may not fully understand what lies ahead, the program’s goal is to ensure they no longer feel invisible and instead become voices of change in their way. The film highlights the experiences of participants in past Date With Dad programs, showing how each girl takes the first steps toward healing. It helps them realize that their fathers’ choices do not define their identity or potential.
Each girl’s journey is different. By speaking up and sharing their feelings, these girls learn crucial life skills like conflict resolution, problem-solving, commitment, change management and forgiveness. Through support and encouragement, the program aims to empower them to embrace their potential, teaching them that courage and communication can change the trajectory of their lives.
How it changes fathers
Morris: “Many of these men have shown remarkable resilience and resolve upon release. The self-reflection and reassessment of their personal “how” and “why” is shown in how they have been keeping their promises to themselves to not do the things that would result in being rearrested and in making efforts to be intentionally present and actively engaged with their daughters and families.”
Patton: “The Date With Dad program has profoundly impacted the men involved, particularly after their release from jail. “Many experience reduced recidivism as the program strengthens their commitment to staying out of prison and being present for their daughters. During incarceration, the program motivates them to improve their behavior, knowing that positive conduct can lead to more opportunities to connect with their families. Upon release, these men often return home more prepared and optimistic, ready to rebuild relationships with their daughters and sons, exhibiting more extraordinary patience and involvement. Additionally, some are inspired to pay it forward by mentoring or starting their businesses or nonprofits, driven by a desire to give back to their communities and help others in similar situations. This program transforms the daughters and the fathers, setting them toward a better future.”
How it gives incarcerated men back their power
Morris: “The Date With Dad program is an immersive series of experiences. The dance provides innate motivation for the fathers because they want a special day with their daughters. A part of the program is the Fatherhood Circles. In the Circle, we meet for 10 weeks before the dance and for four weeks after to co-create a brave space to meet as men and fathers on a journey of personal exploration into their individual value systems and life experiences as men, sons, and fathers. We explore personal accountability and responsibility, navigating relationships, knowledge of childhood development and children’s needs and the importance of how they show up as dad.
The experiential learning activities and conversations are curated with the fathers in trust and respect. They are encouraged to be so brave that they can be reflective and vulnerable and build through radical transparency. We are all fathers and participants, so we share experiences, ideas and perspectives about their hopes in a place that explores the difficult emotions, past decisions and consequences, goals and hopes and the importance of their roles in their children’s lives. These conversations are building blocks to help them shift their ideas, knowledge base and attitudes about their roles and help them extract the lessons from their lived experiences, and help each father realize that he is exactly who he has been waiting for to show up for himself and his family. All of this helps to remind them that they are men and fathers who are dealing with the consequences of incarceration. All of the men in this program showed that they hold on to fatherhood and parenthood as being a key part of their self-identity. I would say that their work and efforts remind them of their power and help them reset and reaffirm that while the program provides space opportunities for them to do so.”
