As an adult, Kerry Washington learned that she was conceived through artificial insemination. The revelation sent the actress down a path of self-examination and actualization, and the result is Thicker Than Water: A Memoir, which was published in 2023. In its pages, the actress, known for fiercely protecting her privacy, reveals some of her most intimate and life-changing moments.
Through Washington’s moments of raw honesty and profound introspection, lessons are imbued in each revelation and declaration, ones that have a profound effect on the reader. Here are five lessons that not only moved us but left us with nuggets to help shape our own empowered self-narratives.
The Power of Love
One of Washington’s biggest revelations, and the one that started her memoir journey, is that her family used artificial insemination to conceive her, which meant her father was not her biological dad. She reassures him that even though that is the case, she still loves him for being that paternal figure in her life, with one addition: “Now you’ll get to feel what it’s like to be loved unconditionally,” without false pretense and reaffirming that family is who you choose to love.
The Power of Representation
As a performer who gave talkbacks in character while performing with S.T.A.R. (Serving Teens through Arts Resources), a teen-based theater company that educated young people on safer sex practices, Washington learned the connection between art and social change. People need to see themselves in the content they consume, and that content can also change how people feel and behave about others. The actress has done this in every role she’s chosen, confirming that your actions can make a difference.
The Power of Voice
Washington painfully recalls how a boy repeatedly touched her inappropriately during sleepovers in her Bronx neighborhood. After being victimized a couple of times, she confronted the boy, threatening to tell her parents what had happened. While she chose not to reveal her abuse to her mother that evening, she confronted the boy, declaring if it ever happened again, she would tell, ending the torment she had endured, and letting us all know we should never be afraid to speak up.
The Power of Therapy
In college, Washington dealt with a toxic cycle of self-abuse of body obsession that included starving herself, binge eating and compulsive exercise. Knowing that she was destroying her body, mind and spirit, and realizing she couldn’t make life changes alone, she sought out therapy. “I began learning to embrace my truth, to have my feelings, to allow myself to be messy and imperfect and human. I learned that I was not alone in my suffering,” she writes, teaching us all that it’s ok to seek help from others.
The Power of Choice
Washington reveals that early in her career, she had an abortion. She recalls being asked if this was the right decision for her and her family. “I was sitting across from a nurse, having to defend my desire to have an abortion,” she writes. She also shares how, during the procedure, that same nurse recognized who she was, making us realize that the right to choose, from our bodies to our personal lives, should always be ours to make.
