Nick Cannon discussed the insecurities he felt during his six-year marriage to Mariah Carey.
Nick Cannon is no stranger to questioning his worth following a breakup. According to the “Wild ‘n Out” star, he struggled with his sense of self during and after his divorce from Mariah Carey.
Cannon, 44, discussed his relationship and eventual split from Carey, 55, during an appearance on the Oct. 24 episode of the “Ray Daniels Presents” podcast. He shared how he grappled with insecurities after the two married in 2008.
“I didn’t actually really care what the world thought because the perception, you know, that is what it is. People are going to love you one day, hate you the next day,” Cannon said, adding, “I could care less about that. … But going to myself with that pressure of, ‘Who am I?’”
“I got married in my 20s, you know what I mean? To the biggest star in the world,” he continued. “My trajectory was here,” he said with a downward gesture, “and then hers — she’s already in a different stratosphere.”
Cannon explained it was challenging to maintain his own identity outside of their relationship — and yet how, at the same time, he got “comfortable” with Carey’s lifestyle.
“She’s got islands and I’m waking up at noon and people bringing me steaks on a platter,” he quipped.
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He said the uneven dynamic would keep him up at night.
“I would lay up at night thinking, like, ‘Is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?’” Cannon said, adding, “There’s nothing wrong with it.”
The actor noted that he also struggled with his masculinity and the emerging “hierarchy” of his family after the two welcomed their twins, Moroccan and Monroe, in April 2011.
He said, “I’m carrying a purse, the diaper bag and, you know, I’m standing on the corner like, ‘Wait.’ She’s rocking being the alpha.”
When the host noted, “She deserves it,” Cannon agreed.
“I believe she needs a dude like that. I’m just not that dude,” Cannon admitted.
Cannon and Carey became romantically linked after he starred in her music video for the single “Bye Bye” in 2008. By May of that same year, the two had secretly tied the knot. After six years and the arrival of twins Moroccan and Monroe, the couple announced they were splitting in 2014.
Following their split, Carey dated Australian billionaire James Packer. The two were engaged in 2016 but eventually called it off. Cannon, meanwhile, has gone on to grow his career and his family. He’s now the father of 12 children, including the twins he shares with Carey. He’s also continued to carry a torch for the “All I Want for Christmas” singer.
In August, Cannon told E! News that, just like Carey’s 2005 hit single, “We belong together”; adding that he would “absolutely” get back together with Carey, who gave her perspective of their split in her memoir “The Meaning of Mariah Carey.” He said he would “be stupid if [he] didn’t.”
However, Cannon teased at the time, “She doesn’t want me.” Later, speaking to People magazine, he said, “She’s moved on from my crazy antics.”
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